Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
