is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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