The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize