I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There r osticjed everywhere
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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