Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
