I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
