I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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