a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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