i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
