It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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