My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
