It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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