We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
