My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
