Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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