i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
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Semen is not good for contacts.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
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My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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