Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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