My hair reeks of homosexuality.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
3 2 1 whiskey
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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