Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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