You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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