You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
