First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
