so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
