I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
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