Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
