She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Those nachos came to me in a dream
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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