We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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