Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
