and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
