we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
