I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
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I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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