And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
false alarm. still invincible.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
