Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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