I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
