you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
