My pussy is not your playground.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
