He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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