Kiss
Puke
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize