I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I love you. Go after that dick
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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