I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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