then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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