The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
