You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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