i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
