i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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