; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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