was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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