What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
