If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
