oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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