I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
