He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
