but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
