it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
