I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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