it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You took a bar mat shot.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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