i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When did angry sex become our thing?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
