we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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