My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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