Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize