I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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