We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
