I just pynch a tree in the face
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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